Preliminary notes for FE:CSR revisions

The main revisions I will be making are to Yosef, who was overpowered, given too much attention and far crueler than I intended. He was supposed to be an enigmatic character, scarred by an event (or series of events) in his past, which I will reveal sparsely, gradually, and in little detail over the rest of the arcs his character exists in. I will make him a much kinder, and less (openly) powerful figure, and he will participate in the plot far less.

I’ve drastically changed my plans for his backstory over time, going from a simple man with inexplicable power, to a descendant of a deity, to a powerful druid who worked in the shadows, to the Crown Prince of a forgotten land, and many places in between. I’m not going to tell you his finalized backstory yet, but I think you’ll all like it. It’s subdued, but powerful, and hopefully it make his character more sympathetic.

I will also be modifying the plot, which previously glossed over a few potential plot points, gave too many predictable hints to plot twists later in the publication, had WAY to many Dei ex Machinis (which I used to resolve situations I screwed up), and a failed experiment in chapter 3 that I will almost completely rewrite (only the flashbacks and characters involved will remain).

I’ll give you more details as I update each chapter.

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Editor’s Notes for An Unexpected Caller

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11893794/1/

An Unexpected Caller is an FE14 x Clue crossover by Cormag Ravenstaff based on the 1985 Jonathan Lynn movie. It will have a total of seven chapters.

I did nothing to the story, but I did make a few grammatical corrections here and there. Mostly regarding redundancy and comma placement.

Not much else to say about this one editing-wise. I highly recommend the fic to anyone who enjoys mystery stories. I only correctly guessed about half of the ending.

See you next time!

Editor’s Notes for “Fire Emblem Rekka No Ken: A Story Retold” Chapter 20C

GameFreakimage didn’t use much, but at least he used some of the dialogue I wrote.

He made some edits AFTER his other beta-reader and I made ours, so there were a number of spelling of grammatical errors scattered throughout the chapter.

If you have kept up with his story, you will find that it has become rather predictable. By this point, I understand I can’t do anything to change that, but I figured I could at least tell it better and introduce a few concepts people wouldn’t have predicted. GameFreakimage used none of my edits to the story.

One of the main problems I have found was how he neutered Ephidel’s character. As soon as his OC, Michael, gained the upper hand, the morph began experiencing fear, something he was designed to be immune to. In my version, he only became emotional at the end, when his life was spent. For that I took inspiration from Limstella’s death quote in the penultimate chapter of FE7.

Now, all of that was really a dream Michael had. In the original, he had miraculously been granted great power and used that to overwhelm Ephidel, but in the end was incapacitated by Jaffar. In my version, Ephidel subjected him to intense trauma that drove him mad; Michael then proceeded to use an item he had kept for emergencies which depleted him of what little sanity he had left. He then consumed Ephidel and destroyed the world. Of course, that was just a vision Ephidel gave him. In reality, he was lying unconscious at the Dragon’s Gate before the morph, his master and Jaffar. That didn’t matter to Michael, though, as his insanity in the vision carried over to reality and when he woke he would likely attack his former friends, distracting them while Nergal used Ninian to open the gate. Everyone who has played FE7 knows that this would not work… at least not entirely. Michael would regain his sanity only after heavily wounding Lyndis, at which point he would be traumatized so heavily he would never fight again.

When GameFreakimage told me he wanted Michael to stay out of future fights because of a PHYSICAL wound rather than a mental one, I rewrote the ending so Nergal, in fear of Michael killing Ninian, would order Jaffar to puncture the OC’s lower spine, permanently paralyzing him. Still, the writer went with his own version, which I personally find to be rather… mundane.

Also, most of the dialogue I wrote (very little of which he included) was very poetic in nature, and I felt it would very much suit the tone of the chapter. Specifically, Michael would go on about Ephidel being a puppet, taunting him with dialogue like “The curtain is falling on the final performance; the puppeteer no longer has need for his creation, so it is time for its disposal.”

The scenes I wrote were also a little more… violent. Rather than having Lyn block the first barrage of luna orbs Ephidel launched at Michael, the OC would be cut in half by the orbs, and Lyn didn’t arrive until Ephidel was about to deliver the finishing blow. In order to get Michael to kill the Sacaen, Ephidel gave the OC a pair of magically-created limbs to replace the legs he had lost.

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That covers pretty much everything important. See you next time!

My First Editing Job

Recently, I was asked by FFn user GameFreakimage to beta read a chapter of his main publication, Fire Emblem Rekka no Ken: A Story Retold. As a result, I’ve decided that once he releases the chapter, I will post editor’s notes here.

Normally I wouldn’t do this, as beta reading (to my understanding) typically entails nothing more than correcting spelling and grammar. But in the case of this chapter, GameFreakimage requested that I give my opinion on the plot, and later asked me to make modifications based on my thoughts. I do not know if he will end up using them, but either way I will post information about my edits to the story here (I also plan to do this with other publications I end up reworking).

The post containing my notes will be rather long, as the chapter is going to be between eleven and fourteen thousand words, depending on which ideas of mine he uses (if any). Most of the chapters in FE:CSR are between four and eight thousand words, and if you keep up with my blog, you should know the typical length of each related post.

Fun fact, the main reason why I moved my author’s notes to my blog is because some of my readers complained about how long they were; I figured those who actually liked reading them would not have a problem with going to my blog. As for those who didn’t like them, they won’t have to see them anymore.